Being Hmong, I was raised with the value of always helping others. Every weekend there was a celebration of some sort where we attended to help prepare for parties or special occasion. On traditions and with this instilled in me, I’ve become very loyal when it came to my professional life. My loyalty to my employers who paid me to represent them, I felt as I owed them something because the paycheck went to my lifestyle. However, as the years past, the faults of loyalty was causing more harm than good.

I’ve been blessed and truly appreciate the experiences and relationships I’ve gained through my career. My superpower is “helping people” and I know this has always been a battle as I rarely have ever fallen behind on projects.

I came upon an epiphany you might say, what I didn’t realize was my love for helping others, I forgot to ask for help when I needed it. I reread my post on the Resilient Woman Series and realized I wasn’t doing what I answered. I had to step back and restrategize what made me started feeling all this stress.

“I am loyal, I just didn’t realize the cost of loyalty”

Reasons To Keep Sanity Over Loyalty

Burn Out

Have you ever clocked out but still worked? Work piles up and instead of taking your break or lunch you continued to keep working. You can’t sleep because all you can think about is what you’ll be working on the next day when you awake. You bring negative energy into your home. Worst, you’re bringing work home with you. Not only does it do physical harm but emotions are all over the place, your health deteriorates and you forget about yourself. Being burned out will take a toll on your body.

Hate

You hate even just the thought of it. You finish one, but you see what’s next and you still just carry on hating it but no one else is going to finish it for you. You’re upset just driving from place to place and the hate starts to show. You no longer smile, you no longer want or have interaction with counterparts and you slowly avoid any contact with superiors. The superiors, who are to be leaders have no idea what they are doing too. So everyone is just hating what they do all together. Hate is a powerful word and when it gets to this point, it’s bound to end badly.

Waste of Time

You forget the “Why” to what you’re doing. It’s unlike you to ask for help but you do and when you’re promised but have to wait several years, the loyalty starts to fade. You waste your time, energy, and dedication. All you want now is for the day to end so you can do what you love. You work on projects but your mind wanders off and you are dying to do something else. People over promise but never deliver on what you need to get the job done makes you feel undermined. You’re wasting time.

Conclusion

Know your limits. Ask for help no matter how difficult it is for you. If you are not able to recognize this, it will lead to the reasons above and lead yourself to question and doubt your abilities.

Know your worth. Time and time again, asking for some type of advice from leaders and in return you get nothing, it’s time move on! Appreciation goes a long way. When you’re not shown appreciation, trust me, there are many out there who are waiting for you because the value you will bring them.

Know when to leave. If you’ve come to a burn-out, start hating what you do and feel as you’re wasting time, you probably are. Please start looking elsewhere and be ready to leave. Be self-aware and know when to walk away.

-Anna MV