Today marks the weekend before Spring Break begins for Kyson. It also happens to be 2 months since he has had therapy. Last week’s post about Katie Beckett giving us the support we need to provide services for Kyson, does have its downfall too. Okay, let’s be honest, Kyson’s Mommy is a screw-up!

I messed up and I’m acknowledging that I’m a screw-up!

Mommy’s A Mess

I messed up and therefore we wait again. It’s been amazing to have ABA therapy and having Medicaid help, however, I guess if it was a perfect world we wouldn’t be in this situation. Yes, it’s great but not all service providers out there seem to work the same it seems.

Therapy was covered through insurance and whatever wasn’t, Medicaid would pick up the rest. At the beginning of the year, we switched insurance. I just didn’t think this would interfere with his therapy because, after countless conversations with the Katie Beckett consultant, he states he’s never had a situation like mine. Medicaid would cover therapy until the new insurance authorized coverage.

So was the Billings for the place that was providing service person lying? According to him, it’s their policy.

Why is insurance so complicated?!

Yet again, I had to get Kyson another assessment, meaning another “ok” to say he’s still autistic and needs services. WTF! A total of 3 assessments in his short 5 years of life he’s been alive. (SMH) I didn’t want to argue because even though there was this hiccup, life had to continue.

At first, when Kyson would get home from school he’d sit in front of the window. He would see a car pass by that looked like his behavior technician’s car and he would say her name. But it was her.

A few weeks later, scanning picture through my phone I came across pictures of him with them and he remembers who they were. My poor boy, what have I done?

Aftermath

Two months, it’s been two months. He no longer waits by the window waiting for them. His bin of work with the therapists still sits in our kitchen and I’ve tried working with him on programs, but that’s the thing with Kyson. ABA programs he was working on is for him and his BTs, NOT Kyson and Mommy.

He gets upset when I have his sit down to work on a project. So I have stopped altogether trying to work with him because I’m sure by now he would’ve passed those task too. I’m just thankful that his school and his ABA therapy programs always seemed to align so whatever they were working on with him at school was carried once he came home.

Final Thoughts

Even with the hold of ABA therapy, I now find myself questioning if we should have Kyson continue once everything is authorized to start again. He has still been progressing with the help at school, but I don’t know what’s going on at school. I’ve notified his teacher and there has been no warnings or behavior changes from him because the routine and consistency is no longer there.

I always wondered when he first started going to school for full days if continuing ABA therapy after would be too much for my little guy. I guess I feel like I’ve let him down but in reality, I wish he was able to tell me that he’s okay with it. I want him to be the one to say, “I don’t want to do it anymore.” I’m hopeful that we will be there one day. Kyson will be able to tell me his thoughts and feelings about anything in his life.

For now, I’ll take the blame cause I’m a screw-up.

-Anna MV