Autism Parenting

A New Type of “Mommying”

I became a mom at a young age and with it, a lot of unknow territories. Being Mommy, I think I managed pretty well considering how my daughter turned out. Well she’s still alive, if that makes it any more real or sound better (LOL). My daughter, was my first born. Like any other child, considered healthy and normal, as society would say.

It wasn’t until had my son that I had to take on a whole new level of parenting. Most days, I’m not even sure how I manage, if I’m doing okay, or if this is even how it should be done. There’s no guide to this. Our lives flipped for a while with a lifestyle change, a whole other kind of commitment, and something I wasn’t prepared for. I just hope I’m doing okay (head tilt).

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From a mom, who already was a mom, but now learning to accept a new way of “Mommying,” here a few things I used to say to my daughter and now, completely say the oppisite to my son.

1. Why do you talk so much?!

Oh gosh, hear comes the dreaded Mommies threats! I get it, it’s not very nice to say, but to be honest my daughter didn’t really speak until she was 2 years of age. Once she learned, she never stopped. At 3 years, I had friends who would already be arguing with her as if she was an adult.

As for my son, he started babbling early on and was able to fully engage. It wasn’t until his 2nd birthday that I realize he seemed to not be hitting the developmental goals of the norm. By age 3 he lost so many words he used to know and his 3 word sentences became one or none at all. What I get to say now,

“Use your words”

2. No, let me do it!

She was so independent, always wanting to do everything. This one, I did hesitate to share as you should encourage this with any child, but again this was how I ran my mommyhood. Single parent, always in a rush to get somewhere. She would dress herself and I would rechange the whole outfit. Yep, little Miss Independent at 2.

Now my son is 5 and with every ounce of me wanting to do things for him at all times, I have to remember to let him try to get his motor skills developed. My mind tells me to, but initially the heart makes me stop myself. Getting dressed and even redirecting to keep on task can be up to a half an hour, but he gets there. What I get to say now,

“You can do this”

3. Stop eating so many snacks, you’ll spoil your dinner!

Was I ever fortunate to get a child that would eat anything I placed in front of her! She never complained and ate whatever the meal was for the day. Each year her appetite would grow and so would her snack sessions. It’s not like she was eating unhealthy snacks, she could go in the fridge and reheat last night’s dinner as a snack or eat all the fruits and veggies available. To this day, she is still a lover of “food,” a total foodie.

Kyson only eats a handful of certain foods. I’m not so sure if it’s the taste, but texture definitely is a factor. He loves his carbs, defintiely a french fry child. Then he has his moments of actually eating something and the next week will be gagging on it. I haven’t havent been able to get other food groups into his diet. No meat (okay with hot dogs and sausages) and no vegetables (he used to love corn.) His fruits of choice, sometimes watermelon, sometimes bananas. Again, now gagging when he eats these and oh yeah, juice and rootbeer all day! He grew up on basically rice which I’m very thankful that he eats. We’re Hmong and that’s a part of our every day diet. I’m not going to lie, I probably would be heart-broken if he didn’t like rice. Okay, and he loves candy and anything sweet, but who doesn’t? What I get to say now,

“You need to eat more.”

The Journey Continues

He definitely has come a long ways with his language, picking up new words and exploring vocabulary. When he does say thing appropriately in the right context, we celebrate it.

His fine motor skills are definitely progressing as he is now starting to learn to zip his coat. He can tolerate holding markers properly in his hand. I love getting art sent home with circles and lines from him. Only 4 months ago, he was still stabbing paper only.

We’re working on the diet still, slowly introducing new foods. I’m still constantly putting any food into him that he’ll eat. Since school started, it’s been difficult for Kyson to eat at school. He comes home hungry everyday and upset or frustrated. We make sure food is ready for him immediately when he gets off the bus so his therapy session at home can begin.

-Anna MV

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Anna MV

A Hmong woman practicing life finding art in everything. Blogger of Family, Life, Culture, Autism, Self Awarenes

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4 Comments

  1. Having older kids, I can relate! It is soooo different. As confusing as it is, I think we are doing a great job. High – 5!

    1. Glad you can relate! Whew! 😂 High-5!

  2. I’m really loving these blogs!!! Keep them up.

    Will Kyson not eat a packed lunch?

    1. We pack him lunch, but he still only eats what he wants. Usually just one item out of the 5 that we pack for him. He needs a lot of encouragement to eat anything in general.
      Thanks for reading Mohammed, I hope all is well with you!

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