As a mom, I always wonder if I’m doing what’s right for Kyson. Often, I sit a contemplate about the “what ifs” and “maybes” I should try something else. Would he like it? Would it benefit him?
Next week Kyson turns 6, next month we celebrate 2 years of him being in ABA therapy, and this upcoming school year he will be one of the youngest 1st graders. Is it just me or am I the only one who fears everything in his path.
Reading blogs and stories from the community who are “actually autistic” scares the hell out of me. Will he resent me one day for doing all this for him?
Top 10 Concerns of a Mom of an “actually autistic” child
- Who will love him if (knock on wood) I’m no longer here?
- Will he ever be able to express his needs?
- Will he hate his childhood cause I made him do all this?
- Will he resent me for pushing him too many times?
- Will he have friends, date, get married, have children?
- Will he be able to function within society?
- Will his failures be blamed because of his parenting?
- Will he learn self-awareness to lead a fulfilling life?
- Is he happy?
- Who will love him when I’m no longer here?
As I note “who will love him when I’m no longer here?” as number 1 and number 10, only because it is the question that runs again and again in my head. It is my most concerned and feared about the path in his future.
I think many parents with children who have special needs will always ask themselves this. We fear that it’s only because we know our children’s needs best. No one will ever know them as we do. No one will ever go above and beyond for them but yourself.
My heart breaks as I write this. It’s how much I feel about his future.
We only want what’s best, but yet we fear all the adversity our child will face. Will children understand that we tried our best, we did the best we could, and there isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t worry?
Parenting is so hard! But then we will second guess and wonder “did I “really” do the best I could?”
We will find comfort in other parents who struggle and have similar situations, but eventually still think, no one will ever know my child like I know him.
A concerned mother,